Lebobryo

July 30, 2009

Decision Making in Marriage

Most counselors agree that one of the greatest problems in marriage is decision making. Visions of democracy dance in the minds of many young couples, but when there are only two voting members, democracy often results in deadlock. How does a couple move beyond deadlock? The answer is found in one word: love.

Love always asks the question, "What is best for you?" Love does not demand its own way. Love seeks to bring pleasure to the one loved. That is why Christians should have less trouble making decisions than non-Christians. We are called to be lovers. When I love my wife, I will not seek to force my will upon her for selfish purposes.

The biblical idea of the husband being the head of the wife has been one of the most exploited concepts of the Bible. Christian husbands, full of self-will, have made all kinds of foolish demands of their wives under the authority of "The Bible says...." Headship does not mean that the husband has the right to make all the decisions and inform the wife of what is going to be done.

She is called to be a "helpmate". The word means "helper". How can she be a helper if she has no opportunity to share her ideas? "Two are better than one," the Scriptures say. That is certainly true in decision making. Why would a husband want to make a decision limited to his own wisdom when God has given him a helper?

Adapted from The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

News & Updates

Be the first to get exciting updates on Gary Chapman's books, radio programs, and conferences through this brand new online community. Visit the blog.

Join the conversation--get live updates, access exclusive photos, and give Dr. Chapman your ideas. Become a fan of Gary Chapman on Facebook.

____________________________________________________

Building Relationships Radio

Saturday, August 1: Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 1

We live in a sex-saturated society. It sells everything from cars to alcohol. So why would we be talking about sex on Building Relationships? Dr. Chapman believes it's a misunderstanding of sex that's at the heart of why there are so many problems in marriages and in society. Don't miss part one of this two-part series.

Tune in to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, the weekly radio broadcast brought to you by Moody Radio and Moody Publishers. Listen live online Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. CST at moodyradio.org, check your local radio station, or download free podcasts and get more information.